Funny Horoscopes Ideas?
For a school project we have to do a news show type thing and include 10 horoscope type things. Either just a flat out horoscope or a “for geminis today is a good day for love, bad day for homework” something like that. We want ours to be funny though, and I’ll be dressed like a fortune teller so we want them to be funny, school appropriate, and not too out there. Any ideas?
10 points to best answer. Thanks<3
Answer by mileyfan
only thing I can think of is something like:
Leo, ya big cat. You better learn to love dogs, cuz your love life gets full of em this month!
Answer by Astrology.com
Well you could add in some things about the number of stars to rate their day, i.e. “today, Taurus, it’s a 1 star today. Unfortunately, you will be rained on by cats and dogs. No literally.” Or just anything really awful. Or you could mention other signs in your horoscope, i.e. “Your day is going along trippingly Libra. It’s a 4.999999, until a jealous Aries knocks it down to a 2.” I think the more specific you can be — examples of what will happen to them (because usually horoscopists have to err on the side of being general to be more inclusive), the funnier. So make bold, random choices. “You show up 11 minutes late for a class but smokey eye contact between you and the cute guy whose concentration you disrupted makes detention a small price to pay … ” yadda yadda yadda. Hope that helps. Read some real horoscopes and just add your own funny twists too. Have fun, good luck!
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horoscope for my birthday?
today is my b-day can someone give me a free horoscope? hope it’s a good one lol
9-11-1974 born 2:34 am
Answer by Geomatic7000
Today, you will believe that vague, broad statements will have the ability to predict your life.
Answer by Natasha P
You will start to see a new person open up to you in a deep and meaningful way.
You have got to try something new, even if you think you’ve got a full plate already. Today is perfect for launching big projects or taking off in exciting new directions, so make sure you think big!
Answer by MsM
You are being reintroduced to the universe, Virgo. There is a way that you are called right now to extraordinary service, as well as to connection with important others in your life. There are also definite surprises in store for you as this monthly cycle unfolds. Active partnership participation helps you reach out beyond the simple here and now of everyday existence and tunes you in, bringing you something rich and strange. Meanwhile life goes on, with more responsibility than ever. You feel the wonder of head in the clouds with feet very firmly planted on the earth. It’s a stretch, but then, stretching is good for you.
As your month begins with the powerful Last Quarter Moon of Monday, September 3rd, you are feeling your oats for sure, in this your birthday time of the year. There is a strong action orientation that you have right now that will take you far. This particular day of the Last Quarter Moon itself will be one of playing out the tension of opposites, and you may find yourself forced to choose between public and private concerns on this day. You are in sync with your tribe and your extended family to an unusual extent at this time, and feeling their love and profound support for your outer world ventures. With the New Moon and Solar Eclipse in your sign a week later, on Tuesday, September 11th, you are launching yourself into significantly new territory. The pay-off for what you conceive now may only come with the perspective of the end of this year, but brilliance lies within you and in the partnerships with others around you that you cultivate at this time. The First Quarter Moon of the following week, taking place on the 19th, will probably be something of a trial, especially if this takes place near your actual birthday. There will be the pressure to confirm your vision in the hard light of actual performance, and perhaps domestic issues of some kind that might come up for healing and resolution at this time. The poet G.M. Hopkins’ statement of the higher purpose of these trials would seem to apply to you right now: “that my chaff might fly, my grain lie sheer and clear.” After this crucial moment, the rest of the month will be more or less clear sailing.
Answer by stumpkicker
My Birthday is also today! I am not much on horoscopes but I can wish you a Very Happy Birthday!
I am Jimmy G from Toledo. and I always get too too bad you were born on that day.
((( But for you ))) Have a Happy Birth Day! Live LONG and enjoy ,,,,,, Stay sober so you remember what you enjoy!
But get drunk if ya want to! Happy Birthday
Answer by TFoley5000
September 11, 2007
Although you might not think of yourself as a leader, your quiet voice of authority can really keep people from losing their sanity.
Your Virgo Horoscope:
Today is a significant milestone marker that reminds you of the hard work in front of you. You might want to make it all happen right away, but this is totally unrealistic. With Saturn now in your sign, you must think about long-term completion rather than immediate satisfaction. Don’t get discouraged; accolades will be yours if you perform well, but probably not today.
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